Working the System

People that claim that school is a total waste of time are definitely ignorant. Certainly they haven't listened closely to their teachers or watched what was going on because there is a wealth of learning occurring there.
It was only in second grade where I first realized there was a way to beat the system. Legal Loopholes. There're legal loopholes in everything! Anything!
My favorite thing in the second grade was candy. Ask anybody. Candy is the best thing there is without a doubt. Any second grader knows that. There's only one problem - and I'm not talking about ruining teeth or appetites for dinner. The only problem is that it is absolutely forbidden - against the law - forget it - to eat candy, chew gum, display candy of any kind in the classroom. Can't do it.
Unless you're smart. And smart is why we're in school. Many of you might have missed this lesson. so we're going over it again. The key is "Doctor". Doctor is the highest level of address, the highest level of anything there is in education - almost in the world. The only thing higher is "filthy rich"!  So there's the legal loophole. If the doctor says it's OK to eat candy in the classroom, anybody and everybody can eat candy in the classroom - every day - all the time - all over the place -  it's candy day! Get it? Sure - it's coming back. Bring in a note from the doctor. That's all you have to do. All is excused. More of this later.
Now, the Smith Brothers have already set up this loophole. Remember the Smith Brothers? Those two long bearded gents on the box of Smith Bros. Cough Drops? They're still going strong. More power to them.They got away with selling these licorice, anise and sugar candies as medicine and made quite a bit of money at it - bless them - anything works for forty percent of the people - anything - just check this out! Salt over the shoulder works too. This is not the point however. And I like Smith Bros, Cough Drops - especially the wild cherry, the bubble gum, and the roast chicken very much! I like to think that you're getting this.