The Belmont Stakes 2004

    The Belmont Stakes  2004

From;  "The Continuing Adventures of Wooples the Cat"

     It was a terrible day in Philadelphia. It was raining fairly heavily and kind of cold too.  I had been watching the running of the Belmont Stakes with Wooples. Wooples rarely watched television but he would keep me company if I was interested in watching a program. He preferred watching the birds on the front lawn. Hed jump up on the back of the chair by the front window and peer out between the vertical blinds with an intensity that reminded me of documentaries of hunched lions peering at prey through high grasses.  But today was different. We were going to watch Smarty Jones win the triple crown of horse racing and have a Smarty Party.  I had been caught up in the Smarty Jones excitement that had  swept through Philadelphia. Smarty was going to win the triple crown of horse racing and Philadelphia was going to be famous and the whole world would be happy.

     I had explained all this to Wooples during a commercial about Visa credit cards. Wooples assured me that he would help me root for Smarty and that he felt confident that Smarty would win the triple crown of horse racing andPhiladelphia would be famous  and the whole world would be happy.  

      The rest is history. As Smarty got nosed out toward the finish, I turned the TV off. I couldnt bear to see or hear any more. I was thrown back to 1964 when the Phillies lost the national league pennant.  We were 6 0r 7  games ahead toward the end of the season. All we had to do was win one game, one game in ten. We lost them all! Goodbye world series. Goodbye famous Philadelphia. Goodbye happy world. It just wasnt in the cards.

     Wooples was lying on the floor with his chin on the carpet, his eyes nearly closed. He turned and looked up at me. "He ran as fast as he could" he said, and shut his eyes. He shuts his eyes whenever hes sad or sympathetic. Sometimes he shuts his eyes when you scratch his back or pet him but then he purrs too.

"I dont know what happened Wooples"  - I offered, lost for an explanation. "He was supposed to win. Everyone said he was going to win. The odds were 1-5!! for heavens sake."

     We let it go for several hours. Wooples was still brooding. He broods when he doesnt understand something. "He tried as hard as he could" he said. "He ran with all his heart Smarty probably feels real bad now."

     I felt bad too. I imagined a large number of people in Philadelphia who had to cancel their Smarty Parties felt bad as well. No triple crown. No famousPhiladelphia. No happy world. No champagne. Just a big let down. Sometimes you lose Wooples. When you lose, youre supposed to feel bad. "OK", he said, and we brooded together.

Working the System

People that claim that school is a total waste of time are definitely ignorant. Certainly they haven't listened closely to their teachers or watched what was going on because there is a wealth of learning occurring there.
It was only in second grade where I first realized there was a way to beat the system. Legal Loopholes. There're legal loopholes in everything! Anything!
My favorite thing in the second grade was candy. Ask anybody. Candy is the best thing there is without a doubt. Any second grader knows that. There's only one problem - and I'm not talking about ruining teeth or appetites for dinner. The only problem is that it is absolutely forbidden - against the law - forget it - to eat candy, chew gum, display candy of any kind in the classroom. Can't do it.
Unless you're smart. And smart is why we're in school. Many of you might have missed this lesson. so we're going over it again. The key is "Doctor". Doctor is the highest level of address, the highest level of anything there is in education - almost in the world. The only thing higher is "filthy rich"!  So there's the legal loophole. If the doctor says it's OK to eat candy in the classroom, anybody and everybody can eat candy in the classroom - every day - all the time - all over the place -  it's candy day! Get it? Sure - it's coming back. Bring in a note from the doctor. That's all you have to do. All is excused. More of this later.
Now, the Smith Brothers have already set up this loophole. Remember the Smith Brothers? Those two long bearded gents on the box of Smith Bros. Cough Drops? They're still going strong. More power to them.They got away with selling these licorice, anise and sugar candies as medicine and made quite a bit of money at it - bless them - anything works for forty percent of the people - anything - just check this out! Salt over the shoulder works too. This is not the point however. And I like Smith Bros, Cough Drops - especially the wild cherry, the bubble gum, and the roast chicken very much! I like to think that you're getting this.

Private School

A new type of teaching job has come my way recently. A sort of semi-private school, both a live-in, boarding school as well as a locally "drafted from the eighth grade" contingent of students.
The sign business has been slow meanwhile and needs more promoting.
I had a story in mind yesterday, to write for you, but I can't recall it. It would have had to be a true story and, at the same time, entertaining. I can't for the life of me remember any part of it except for birds eating seeds? - possibly an experience I had as a young boy at my friend's family's farm. - we'll see.