Happy 4th of July!

Happy 4th of July!!

Wow - it's been about five months since my last entry! I've been very busy - you can imagine!!

I wanted to write up what I call  "My Bear Story". I've told this story a couple of times in class. My students seem to like it. I like it because there's a moral and it seems to fit so many others' lives as well as my own.

It's a true story. I grew up in Philadelphia. The closest thing I ever knew about the "wild" was the park across the street from our house in west Philly. I was actually born in Camden, NJ, across the river from Philadelphia, but we moved in with my mom's relatives when I was eight years old. No, there were no bears in either Camden or Philadelphia, none that I can remember, that is. There were bears in California though, large bears!
I happened to be in Los Angeles in about 1975 and decided to join the army. We won't go into why I made that decision or why I happened to be in LA.  I make extraordinary decisions sometimes. They seem perfectly reasonable at the time and rather strange later on. Needless to say, I did my basic training at Ft. Ord, CA which is now closed I believe. I had visions of leading an artillery assault on the Berlin Wall and finally giving our side a win against the "commies". I was very patriotic then. I still am. I just needed some catching up to do on reality - political and otherwise. Certainly bears!
So I shined my boots and ran and jumped and marched and did push ups. I also threw things that blew up and fired my weapon and signed up for the field artillery. Then it was all over and we had to wait a while to transfer to our advanced training. Mine was at Fort Sill, Oklahoma.
Now, you have to understand that preparing your mind and body to destroy people - whether large scale or small scale, affects you emotionally. I was not feeling particularly great about people at all. This was not the movies. This was real life. It's different. I am not naturally like that. I like people. I don't like bad people, but most people are not bad, at least not the people I've met.
I had a couple of weeks and I had to break out of a particularly dark mood. I went down to the PX and rented a back pack and a little pup tent, an entrenching tool (a fold-up little shovel) and some other camping gear.
I caught a bus and headed down to the "Big Sur". I just wanted to get away, particularly people and cars and
telephone wires and helicopters and noise. I wanted to hear birds and start my campfire miles away from any town or vestige of civilization. Heat up some water in my canteen and mix in some instant coffee and sugar and powdered milk and light up a cigarette and take a deep breath of the peace and quiet of the wilderness. I could taste the coffee already. So I'd bought some salami and rolls, mustard and potato salad, coffee, donuts and a couple of packs of cigarettes from a store near where I got off the bus and just started wallking into the forest. Further and further, until I couldn't hear a car engine or see a power line. I walked until it started getting dark and picked a spot and pitched my tent. I built a large fire and brewed my coffee just like I wanted, sat back on a log and took in a deep breath and realized something that hit fairly hard.  You know how you can suddently know something like, "I forgot the keys"? It hits you. I knew. I simply knew,  "there's bears in here". I could just about smell them.
I felt like I'd really dug myself into a hole  -  deep! I was way too far into the forest to reach any kind of help. There were no cell phones in those days. It was nearly dark and I certainly coulnd't make my way back. I'd made sure of that!
It was me and the bears and my entrenching tool!
Gosh! "Why do I do this"? I asked myself. There went me and nature and my salami sandwich and my perfect night of rest. You have no idea how a first sergeant booming into your barracks in the middle of the night can spoil a good rest. Now this was worse!
"OK - think!"  There was no way some old bear was going to get at my food. I put all my food into one bag and inside my tent. He was going to have to get by me if he dared and I was a basically trained American soldier. I felt sorry for that bear if he came anywhere near me and that entrenching tool! I learned later that the last place you store food is anywhere near yourself. You throw a line over a tree limb and tie your food onto it so no animal can reach it. But, hey, I grew up in the city.
Here I was as far away from any kind of help as you could get and no way back till morning.
Well "OK!" I built the fire up very high and stood guard. It must have taken a full hour before I fell totally asleep!
I woke in the morning. The fire was nearly out. I threw some dirt over it to make sure it wouldn't blaze again.
In an hour or so, I heard traffic on the highway. Then I could see it and telephone poles and the general store where I'd bought my coffee and donuts. Let me tell you something if you haven't yet guessed. I was very very happy to see and hear people again, cars and busses and telephones.

God bless America. Have a great fourth of July!

Denouement

Denouement

It was hard to believe that there would be so much relief to be back in Vermont. Jim had learned more than one thing about life and happiness on this trip. He wondered too about the way of things for people; how much was pre-ordained, if anything, and how much depended on their own decisions and considerations. He never would have been with Nomi, and certainly wouldn't have appreciated her either without their little adventure. He would have considered her just some spoiled little co-ed, which she wasn't at all. For that matter, he would never have met Heshy, let alone form the friendship that they did, except for his Dad's insistence on the career he didn't want. "That must be it", he thought.  "That's where all this came from, my father gave it to me."  He paused and looked at the thousands of generations of men before him with their hard learned lessons, all looking back and smiling at him. "They knew", he thought. "That's where all that force came from" . "Gosh". He looked at it all and at the sun setting over the mountains in the west and understood a piece of life. 

Needle in a Haystack

So that was it. Two months minimum to wait for assistance from the DSA. The only other choice they had was the tiny light duty dingy. This ship was kept at remote stations like this one in order to ferry passengers and equipment and to handle emergencies that were close by. It was not designed for long distance runs, certainly not anything like the run back to close space which they would have to make if they were to survive. "What about the Armstrong Heshy?", Jim broke the silence. "Forget it, with all the luck in this part of the galaxy and twice the supplies we'd be able to stuff in, I'd give it half a chance to ever show up on the radar. That's how close we'd get. No Jim, I don't want to freeze to death out there and that's what would happen." Heshy sounded really hopeless. "We could rendezvous with the cutter that's much more realistic. I've been going over the figures for the last hour. It would take the best math we had to get a line good enough to make it on the available fuel. We'd have to make little tiny corrections as we went." "Doesn't the computer do that automatically?", Jim asked. "Only if it has reliable position data. Here one thousandth of a percent would translate to hundreds of miles. You can't rendezvous like that. We have to monitor our position more frequently and more accurately than is normally done." Jim was well aware of the importance of relative velocity in docking maneuvers. It took huge amounts of energy to make even relatively small course changes at the extremely high velocities that they would be travelling. This far out, rendezvous were very expensive. "I think it's worth a try Heshy!" 

Getting on with the Story

No story, no happy! The whole trick is to make a happy here! It's hard not to be happy - on this world at this time or on any world at any time - almost! You have to work at it! There are exceptions and, of course, the news seems to carry only the exceptions lately. "Man hits thumb with hammer in Delhi India" - and then you get the whole story with all the details - "ouch", he said. Then his mother is interviewed. "Yes, I was in the other room and heard, "ouch", etc. No, we're not here to suppress emergency communications. There's a place for that, and there's a place for exceptions as well.
"Dance of the Deep" is supposed to be a funny happy story that happens about 300 years in the future, It is intended to be as realistic as possible and create a pleasant imaginative background, characters and situations that invite the reader to help in the creation of a better future for mankind. In other words, a happy story.
There are times, though, that it is difficult, or seems difficult, to be happy. Exceptional times. These times are lacking good creative input which means low level help at best. "Who cares", or "same old baloney", are the attitudes about sharing the best we have to offer for each other. We are working against a bad creative particle - "cold grayness forever" for example, or even worse - chaos - no ordered time or space - in other words - no  understandable future, or a future where "cold grayness forever" seems pleasant by comparison!

Well this is one analysis of "writers block", at least for science fiction that aims for happy endings.
Recognizing this, and responsible as creative writers, we get on with our story:


Nomi's fear was palpable. Even if they could outrun the Vulture, they risked a long dangerous journey in a craft not designed for the stresses they were sure to experience. The radiation exposure alone was almost enough to force a longer course line further from the sun. Fuel reserves prohibited this. Food, water and power were also major considerations that they hadn't yet quite worked out. Jim knew that Heshy could and would solve this. He knew something else too. He knew that the success of their return depended on how much they cared about each other. Heshy was very sensitive to the operational limits of their little ship and knew they would need to be pushed. Jim was equally sensitive to the operational limits of Heshy, Nomi, and himself and was likewise aware that these would be pushed too. He felt Nomi's fears and listened closely to Heshy as he whispered to himself about course possiblitites. "Remember that seafood restaurant in Massachusetts Heshy?", Jim asked. "The Lobster Tails?", Heshy returned. "Yes. The first thing we're going to do when we get back is treat Nomi to dinner on that dock. It'll be July, perfect weather for us." They all chuckled as the fears melted away.

Some Creative Philosophy

The Trick

There are times when everything "clicks" just right. When it is enough to watch the rain fall from inside the window. There is a comfort to present time itself and it is sufficient experience to satisfy the senses and the being as well. It doesn't really matter what it is. A snowflake falling from the roof cuts into your field of vision and reminds you of good times. You walk across the carpet in your socks and recall playing with your brother and family. You smell eggs frying in a pan in the and hear someone say "good morning". The communication values are high and there is no suppression, no threats, no bad lingering news on your mind. You are secure in yourself and what you know from now and till as long as you'd like. There's a lot of this for many people in childhood. Life and people and whatever looks over us, helps and supports us. The "trick" is in the creation. A bad particle is a bad particle. You win the grand slam in tennis and your nose itches and you can't forget what she said to you before the match. Life looks and feels bitter no matter what occurs. Snowflakes fall in possibly the prettiest array in several dozen winters and settle on the trees and ground and it irritates your senses somehow. Nothing can be right. A missed swing from forty years ago in a playground baseball game soured any possibility for happiness for anyone anywhere ever. This is bad creation. It can be done on purpose or in error, but the intention still has to be bad or it won't have much force. This is the stuff of creative suppression. It's downright awful!

So the "trick" is in putting out top notch creative particles and attacking the suppressive sources as well.



Remembering the Winters in Vermont

Their desperate situation and the view of the extremely cold and lonely OP16d port field started Jim thinking about a cold winter in Vermont when he had to cram for finals. The future refused to admit any warmth or humor for him. It was all hard work and suffering, followed by endless cold and ultimate failure. He was forced to review his life and compromise his hopes for success. He could remember nodding off and waking in the morning still dressed and under his blanket. Heshy had come in and brought coffee and it was snowing heavily outside the window. It was going to be alright. Heshy would help him through it. One thing at a time and they would be done and ready. A little chickadee flew over and settled outside on the window sill and looked toward them and then flew away. It was so darned beautiful out there. What in the world was wrong with him. He was in the best school in the Eastern USA. He was young and had everything going for him, great friends and family. This was how it was in life. Sometimes you really had to work hard to prepare for the rougher times in life. This was school. He expected one day to have to face real tests like these.
And here he was and here was Heshy himself with the answers. "Whoever designed this facility deserved an award", he thought as Heshy brought in a fresh pot of coffee.

Kind of Cold Lately

Handling the Cold

Just pulling out of a really rough one today. Had the pets in last night, expecting extreme cold that never really got that bad. The forecast was for minus 26 or 28 or something, so I brought them in. It got down to maybe minus 13 or so, which was not quite so life threatening. So I missed sleep again for about the third night. I was up at about 5:50 from the dog barking to go out, and that was that. There was a faint light of dawn in the east south east about 6:17 when I headed back in after setting the dog back in the garage and the cat with him. I had warmed the garage up to about 40 degrees or so, warm enough for the animals, and I set up the "milk house" heater to keep them warm in addition. I came back in, had breakfast and laid back down for about two hours. It was a good rest this time. I have to go back out now. It's about 7:13 in the evening and I started a wood fire in the wood stove. I have to check it.

OK - The dog - "Snuggles" seemed very comfortable and the cat - "Tina" was very playful, as usual. The wood fire was just about out and I closed the air vents so that the fire would go completely out relatively safely. That's the problem with burning wood for fuel. It's cheaper, but it requires continual monitoring for safety. After heating the garage for about 10 minutes, the temperature rose to about 48 degrees Fahrenheit. Without a strong wind, and with the electric heater going, it should stay a bit above freezing till tomorrow morning. The current forecast from NOAA is a low of -22 tonight. This is about five degrees warmer than last night's forecast which never really got below minus 13, so we'll chance it. Last winter it was good for minus 20 with the electric heater on. This is fine except for the cost! Heating with electricity is very expensive in Vermont. Still a few cold nights is a cheap enough price to have to pay for living in probably one of the most beautiful places in the US. The people up here are very aware of the values Vermont offers. They also don't like it to be so very cold in the winter. 

Coming Clean - Almost

It was time to get out of this mess. There was nothing left to do but get back to where he was before all of this started. For Nomi's sake and for Larry's and his own, he had to make a clean cut away from all the nonsense. This meant fronting up to what the Vulture actually had on him. These silly false salvage operations. These games they'd been playing had been wrong and that was all there was to it. That would mean the end of his career. He might be able to get Heshy off by taking all the blame himself, but that was it. All the college, all the technical training, all the time on their salvage missions, was over for him. He had to do it. He sat down and started to report his emergency. "Mayday, Mayday, Mayday..." , he began. "Hold it. What are you doing?" Heshy interrupted. "I'm sending out an emergency call", Jim quickly answered. "What are you going to say? How will you explain our being here?" Heshy insisted. "I'm just going to tell them the truth Heshy. It's time to own up to all the wrong decisions I've made." He was resigned to get it all out on the table. "Not so fast Jim, I'm part of this too you know." Jim dismissed this. "I'll tell them that you just did what I told you to. You had no idea what was going on." Heshy looked right at him. "That's not true Jim, and If that's what you're doing, I'm not going to let you take all the blame yourself." Jim had forgotten all that. Now he realized that it wasn't just him and it wasn't quite as simple as he thought. Something had intervened and it wasn't going to let Jim's life be totally destroyed. "Tell them we got raided and marooned here." Just then his mayday message was answered. OP16d this is the Great Beyond we received your mayday. What's going on?" A nearby ship was on their screen.